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wedding humor
by LastBestPlace 28 Jun '22

28 Jun '22

Miriam’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents’ nasty divorce. Her mother ,Bessie had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Miriam was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother. Miriam asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. “Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied. Miriam told her mother who graciously said, “Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.” A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Miriam asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.” Her mother just smiled and replied, “Of course I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.”

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crow humor
by LastBestPlace 26 Jun '22

26 Jun '22

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car. MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”

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Wood eye humor
by LastBestPlace 11 Jun '22

11 Jun '22

Enjoy

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May 2022 Scampering about to California
by LastBestPlace 07 Jun '22

07 Jun '22

We did a 2.5 week trip in the Scamp to California and back to attend a family wedding (and feed crows). A few highlights ..... Lave Beds National Monument, near Tulelake CA very close to the Oregon border. The $5/night senior campsite fee was great value. Perfect Cuts Peppered Cottage Bacon is Perfecto! Exploring the lava tubes. The longest one we traversed was over 3000 feet long! The batteries in my head decided to die after about 1000 feet, at which point the phones became essential equipment. They are huge!! We did a side step to Reno NV to visit some friends. Sandy had not seen their new house since they moved away from San Jose. Oh yeah, almost forgot the sunset clouds were stupendous. A big highlight was meeting up with Bruce the dog .... and his owner (Sandy's brother). Not all parts of Scamp travels are glamorous 😉 Antler State Park on Lake Shasta. Again, camping in the month of May found the campgrounds nearly empty in great weather. Sandy is very, very happy with the Scamp, and so far has not mentioned trading in the traveling partner, which I take to be a good sign! We already have future trips planned and reservations made.

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06/06/2022 78 years later
by LastBestPlace 07 Jun '22

07 Jun '22

June 6, 2022. Spotted the first Bear Grass of the season unfolding while out running. Today also marks the 78th anniversary of D-Day (Operation Overlord, June 6, 1944). A.G. Kirk (Commander, U.S. Navy) order for the day /3. In two ways the coming battle differs from any that we have undertaken before: it demands more seamanship, and more fighting. We must operate in the waters of the English Channel and the French coast, in strong currents and twenty-foot tide. We must destroy an enemy defensive system which has been four years in the making, and our mission is one against which the enemy will throw his whole remaining strength. These are not beaches held by apathetic Italians or defended by hasty fortifications. These are prepare[d] positions, held by Germans who have learned from their past failures. They have coastal batteries and mine fields; they have [illegible] and E-boats and submarines. They will try to use them all. We are getting into a fight. /Page 369 of Stephen Ambrose’s /D-Day, June 6, 1944 <https://stephenambrosetours.com/d-day-june-6-1944-climactic-battle-wwii/>/, where Ambrose quotes ship’s cook Exum Pike. Pike’s quote concludes /“I have often told my two sons that I have no fear of hell because I have already been there.”/

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native American humor
by LastBestPlace 05 Jun '22

05 Jun '22

The President visits a remote Native American reservation. With news and camera crews following him around as they tour the place, the President asks the Indian chief if there is anything they need. "Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs. First, we have a medical clinic, but no doctor to run it.” The President whips out his cellphone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes, then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your well-trained doctor will arrive in five days.” "Now what was the second problem?” "We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for hundreds of years. We've been flying bottled water in, but it's terribly expensive.” Once again, the President dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down permanently per my orders, and the owner is being billed for setting up a water purification plant for your people.” "Now what was that third problem?" asks the President. The chief stares at him and says, "We have no cellphone reception up here!"

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05/30/2022 Memorial Day Greetings
by LastBestPlace 30 May '22

30 May '22

Lake McDonald, Glacier National Park on Memorial Day. Remembering those who gave their life to preserve our Constitutional Republic and the beautiful land within it.

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potato humor
by LastBestPlace 29 May '22

29 May '22

A girl Potato and boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married and had a little sweet potato which they called 'Yam,' Of course, they wanted the best for Yam, and when it was time they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of tater tots. Yam said not to worry, no spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her, but on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a couch potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins. When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.' Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw! Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just..... Are you ready for this? Are you sure? OK! Here it is! " A COMMONTATER "

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golf humor
by LastBestPlace 21 May '22

21 May '22

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God no!" cries the man "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?" "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant." "Go for it, doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf ever. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved." "That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors." "That's unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?" "Well, just two, said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking and every time I get an erection, I get a headache."

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viking humor
by LastBestPlace 14 May '22

14 May '22

Viking humor

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