Semi-related story: A Roman galley is tied up at the wharf and the big hairy guy -- naked to the waste and reeking of B.O. -- goes below to address the shackled slaves in the bilge.

"Lads", he says, "I've got good news and bad news for ya!"

"First, the good news. The boss wants to spend Winter in Alexandria so we'll be enjoying warmer days!"

A cheer resounds in the bilge and as it subsides, a lone voice calls out from row 193 seat "C" asking, "..er..what 's the bad news then?"

"The boss wants to water ski all the way over.."