Maurice the mortician is working late one night when they bring him the body of a Mr Schwartz to examine. Schwartz is to be buried early the next day. As he examines the body, Maurice can’t help but notice that Schwartz has the biggest shlong he’s ever seen.

"I'm sorry, Schwartz," says Maurice, as he carefully removes the organ with his scalpel, "but I can't send your ‘pride and joy’ to be buried with you. This piece of flesh needs to be saved for posterity." He then stuffs it into his briefcase and takes it home with him.

The first person he shows it to is his wife. "Darling," he says, "I’ve got something to show you that you won’t believe." He then opens up his briefcase.

"Oy vey zmir," she cries out, with tears running down her face, "Schwartz is dead."