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old lady humor
by LastBestPlace 31 Mar '21

31 Mar '21

A cranky older woman, Ruth "in her senior years" was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process. When she appeared before judge Abrams, he asked her what she had stolen from the store. Ruth defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches you old fool.” The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store." The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?" The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband, Max, raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak. "Yes, sir, what do you have to add?" The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole two cans of peas.“

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church humor
by LastBestPlace 29 Mar '21

29 Mar '21

Toward the end of the Sunday service the minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands. The minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes. The minister said, "Walter, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," he replied gruffly. "That is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands. "Oh, Walter, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?" Walter tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived all them assholes." Then he calmly returned to his seat.

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03/23/21 Not Spring Quite Yet
by LastBestPlace 23 Mar '21

23 Mar '21

After 2 weeks of warmer weather lulling into thoughts of a very early Spring, I awake today to an inch or two of new snow. A simply outstanding view to wake up to. To paraphrase John Muir ... /"Whitefish Mountain is calling, and I must ski"/

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03/20/2021 Jim and Sandy thru the Looking Glass
by LastBestPlace 21 Mar '21

21 Mar '21

It has been a year and half since we visited the east side of the park. Don't usually go there in the winter, and since last summer all public roads on the east side of the park were closed to all but essential travel as part of the Blackfeet Nation lockdown. Last Thursday the closure restrictions on the reservation were lifted!!! Sandy and I went over with the bikes on Saturday and were greeted with incredible sights. The weather the last 2 weeks have been warmer than normal. Looking Glass highway was still closed for the winter, but the pavement was almost completely snow free and dry. This meant we could bike the road with no cars -- fantastic! Looking Glass Highway is quite special, as it is the course for the June Glacier Half Marathon which I have run all 3 times it was held. It is scheduled for June 26 this year, so this provided a chance to scope out the course. Not that I've forgotten an inch of it. I've run various half marathons for 35 years on all different types of courses, and Looking Glass Highway is far and away the most scenic one. Montana Hwy 49. Looking Glass Highway. The winter closure is just after the Two Medicine turn off. In the photo there are two cars parked next to the barricades. Blue sky with the ever present east side breeze, maybe about 40 degrees. Sandy is ready to go! We are not going in to Two Med, as that road is covered in ice and snow. Just here for the photo. We have the road to ourselves. We saw a total of 4 other people. This is our view as we bike up. Lower Two Med Lake is frozen solid. Scenic Point to the left, and Sinopah Mountain <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinopah_Mountain> is in the middle. Big Sky country. You should really see what it looks like in person! Further up the road, on our left framed by the trees is Scenic Point, one of my favorite early season hikes. The Poor Pensioner Sandy, a bit warmer after some uphill biking. This photo was as we were going up. Though we were in the sun, the wind kicked up and it started snowing on us, so we turned around ... Same location for a photo, 20 minutes later. Very cool watching the storm come in. Start of the drive home, treated to more great clouds. If the weather is good next weekend I'll have to come back and run up to the pass. Looking forward to that.

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engineer humor
by LastBestPlace 19 Mar '21

19 Mar '21

Why do most engineers wear short sleeves? Their wives want them to learn to use Kleenex. Why do some engineers wear long sleeves? Their wives gave up.

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Gun humor
by LastBestPlace 11 Mar '21

11 Mar '21

Where does a T.Rex buy a handgun? At a small arms store.

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03/10/21 Slammin’ down some shots
by LastBestPlace 10 Mar '21

10 Mar '21

The photo is of my second shot of the day — Scotch! My first shot of the day was Pfizer. Seemed worthy of celebrating.

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dead humor
by LastBestPlace 18 Feb '21

18 Feb '21

“They say you shouldn’t say nothin’ about the dead unless it’s good,” she said. Referring to her husband, she added: “He’s dead. Good!”

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funeral humor
by LastBestPlace 16 Feb '21

16 Feb '21

An old man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbors feared him, and the old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the funeral. And, after the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down. And I know he won't ask for directions."

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How to prevent gmail from filtering to the Spam folder
by LastBestPlace 12 Feb '21

12 Feb '21

Using gmail and occasionally missing a lastbestplace email that is filtered into the Spam folder? The fix: Settings > Filters and Blocked Addresses Create a new filter Use the email address "lastbestplace(a)mailman.ejop.com" Once created, select the option "Never send it to Spam" This at least works for me. I also think emails that go thru gmail's spam filtering processes may also get delayed in order to be filtered.

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