April 2020 - LastBestPlace

Old Biker
by LastBestPlace 28 Apr '20

28 Apr '20

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?" The old timer said, "I'm a biker and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight on Sundays and out sliding around corners, shootin' sand washes and riding up and down the steepest, wildest mountains I can find at the crack of dawn." The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?" The old biker said, "Who said my dad's dead?" The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?" The old biker said, "He's 99 years old and, in fact, he went riding with me this Sunday, and that's why he's still alive.he's a biker too." The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?" The old biker said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?" The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?" The old biker replied, "He's 117 years old." The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went riding with you this Sunday too?" The old timer said, "No, Grandpa couldn't go this week because he got married." The doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Good Lord!!! Why would a 117-year-old guy want to get married?" To this old biker smiled and answered, "Who said he wanted to?

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current events humor
by LastBestPlace 21 Apr '20

21 Apr '20

What is the difference between a Texas Oil Man and a pigeon? A pigeon can still put a deposit down on a new Mercedes

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04/19/20 Spring Sunset
by LastBestPlace 20 Apr '20

20 Apr '20

The snow is almost melted away. Spring is starting. This is not sheltering in place; this is enjoying the views. Looking east at sunset is the so called "Strawberry Peak", with alpenglow on the top reflected on the water. Looking west across the golf course, a small bit of ice remains on the pond with the clouds on fire.

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Old Davie humor
by LastBestPlace 16 Apr '20

16 Apr '20

Old Davie retired. Him and his wife decided to go for a holiday. She made sure they ate healthy and did daily exercise, and he always looked after the pennies. Sadly the plane crashed with no survivors. So when Davie and his wife got met at the pearly gates by Peter they were escorted to this big mansion, where upon Davie said "Hold on a minute Peter. How much will all this cost?". Nothing said Peter, it's all free. In the kitchen all manner of food, cream cakes big chocolate gateau’s, Davie's wife said we can't eat all that -- it will make us fat. Peter said you can eat anything you like here. You will never get fat. Old Davie looked out the window and said to Peter, "Is that a golf course I see?". Peter said yes that’s Augusta national -- all the great golf courses on earth we have here; Royal Tron, St Andrews, Saw Grass , etc etc. They are all here Peter said. "How much to play them?" Davie asked. Nothing, Peter said. I've told you everything is free here and it never gets dark so you can play 24 hours a day, and you will never get tired, so Davie goes and plays Augusta, shoots a 6 under, and then he and goes and plays St Andrews and shoots another 6 under. He thoroughly enjoyed himself When he got back his wife said well what do you think? "What do I think?" he said. "Ya damn so an so, if it hadn't been for your healthy living and daily exercise I could been here 25 years ago enjoying myself"

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Outhouse humor
by LastBestPlace 07 Apr '20

07 Apr '20

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it." So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!" "Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!" Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole! "Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix." So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!" Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!" To which Ma replies, "Hurts, don't it?!"

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406/2020 Happy Montana Day!
by LastBestPlace 06 Apr '20

06 Apr '20

*Happy Montana Day!* April 6 is the unofficial Montana Day. The entire state of Montana has the single phone area code of 406. Please come visit and see for yourself why this is the Last Best Place!!! *Happy Unemployed Day! *I quit working two years ago and still have not found employment -- nor have I even looked! In the past 12 months, we've been really busy ... had a number of visitors, both first time and repeat replaced every appliance in the house except the garbage disposal completed replacement of every window in the house completed replacement of all exterior doors installation of an open loop ground source heat pump, including 2 wells visited Zion NP (last year March), San Diego, Bay Area, Michigan, Madison WI, and Backus MN In addition to that a few other activities were squeezed in. April 6, 2019, the Pond Skim competition at Whitefish Mountain. Ski down and across a pond of water. The first time is easy; the second time is off a jump; the third time is backwards; and then it gets hard! April 29, 2019 on the dock at Lake McDonald Lodge. Mt. Stanton and Mt. Vaught in the background. May 4, 2019 biking in to Many Glacier. On the way in we passed Mama griz and cub way too close to the road and to us. On the return ride they were a much safer distance away. May 26, 2019 biked up Going-To-The-Sun Road with Rich to the Weeping Wall. If we had started an hour earlier we might have been stranded by an avalanche that went across the road with about 2 dozen other bikers. They had to wait 8 hours for the road crew to clear it safely away. June 22, 2019 a bittersweet 2nd place finish in the Glacier Half Marathon. Beat by 7 seconds; passed in the last 200 yards by the first place finisher. June 30, 2019 Lily and Dennis visit. Among our adventures with them was Sandy's first time to Kintla Lake where we kayaked. The Boundary Mountain range separates the lake from Canada (it's a huge wall :-)) July 21, 2019 I successfully completed hiking the Dawson-Pitamaken Loop trail. This has been on my bucket list a long, long time. 17 miles long over two mountain passes. Part of the difficulty is that it is a very long day trip, it is difficult to find people that are available and in good enough shape to hike it, and is best done on a good weather day. I was absolutely blessed in that Sally was visiting, we could not have had better weather, and she was patient enough to wait for me and my slow pace ;-) July 29, 2019 Mt. Siyeh. Hiking with three age 30-something alpha males, I was humbled enough to admit that they should go on without me. They did successfully make it to the summit. There is no official trail, and the route we ended up on was definitely not the easiest route described in the climbing book. But the weather and views that I experienced were still amazing. My view of Preston Park on a very clear day, with 4 glaciers beyond was excellent. Mo on top of Mt. Siyeh, with Cracker Lake 4000 feet below him!!! Lake Sherburne is off in the distance. August 1, 2019 Otokomi Lake. 10 miles RT hike with Mo. September 30, 2019 a very early snowstorm. Cold enough that the Silver Staircase Falls were frozen. September 30, 2019 I technically cross country in East Glacier Park. 3 feet of snow overnight. It was a light snow and my skis sunk 2 feet into it. I hope to someday be able to have cross country skied in every month of the year. Again, plan a visit and join in the adventures! There are no bad months.

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Wise assed lawyer
by LastBestPlace 05 Apr '20

05 Apr '20

A city lawyer runs a stop sign down in Cajun country and gets pulled over by Deputy Sheriff Boudreaux. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense. Deputy Boudreaux says, "License and registration, please." City lawyer says, "What for?" Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at da stop sign ." Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming." Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please." Lawyer says, "What's the difference?" Deputy says, "Da difference is, you have to come to a complete stop! Dat's da law. License and registration, please!" Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not you let me go and no ticket." Deputy Boudreaux says, "Exit your vehicle, sir." At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says: "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

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Senior humor
by LastBestPlace 03 Apr '20

03 Apr '20

Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store's merchandise wasn't in-only a few shelves and display racks set up. One said to the other, "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling." Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, "What are you selling here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes." Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well. There are only two left." Seniors: don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid!

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Welcome to the NEW LastBestPlace mail list
by Jim Poje 01 Apr '20

01 Apr '20

*WELCOME TO THE /NEW/ _LastBestPlace _MAIL LIST *After 20+ years I've finally moved the LastBestPlace mail list to a new provider. The GoodHumor list of jokes will be folded in to this list, as the recipient lists are nearly identical. For those of you new to the list, this is a low bandwith mail list about the Poje family. New list server but same old format ... some photos ... some stories ... some embellishments ... Living the good life in West Glacier, Montana across the street (and river) from Glacier National Park, and very nearby to the Bob Marshall Wilderness and the incredible Flathead Valley. All of this is really just teaser advertisements to motivate you come for a visit (or return again for another visit)! The Christmas Poje family photo (taken January 3). Mo, Sandy, Jim, and John in back Nadine and Sally in the middle Thistle in the lovely sweater up front It is not as easy as it looks to get the right photo. Sometimes it takes a few tries. Tried to get a good shot of Sally and Thistle on a run to the old bridge one day, but someone didn't want to cooperate. Finally, the perfect shot! Don't blink

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DRAFT: Welcome to the new LastBestPlace mail list
by Jim Poje 01 Apr '20

01 Apr '20

*DRAFT. Testing the new mail list server. You may receive a couple copies of this as I ramp up the new list. **WELCOME TO THE /NEW/ _LastBestPlace _mailling LIST. *After 20+ years I've finally moved the LastBestPlace mail list to a new provider. The GoodHumor list of jokes will be folded in to this list, as the recipient lists are nearly identical. For those of you new to the list, this is a low bandwith mail list about the Poje family. New list server but same old format ... some photos ... some stories ... some embellishments ... Living the good life in West Glacier, Montana across the street (and river) from Glacier National Park, and very nearby to the Bob Marshall Wilderness and the incredible Flathead Valley. All of this is really just teaser advertisements to motivate you come for a visit (or return again for another visit)! The Christmas Poje family photo (taken January 3). Mo, Sandy, Jim, and John in back Nadine and Sally in the middle Thistle in the lovely sweater up front It is not as easy as it looks to get the right photo. Sometimes it takes a few tries. Tried to get a good shot of Sally and Thistle on a run to the old bridge one day, but someone didn't want to cooperate. Finally, the perfect shot! Don't blink

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LastBestPlace April 2020